Life in Lockdown - Riding the Covid-Coaster (Caroline McKaig)

Life in Lockdown - Riding the Covid-Coaster

By Caroline McKaig

I love rollercoasters, I love the thrill, the speed, the excitement; but they can also be very unpredictable, uncontrollable, and even scary. That for me, is my Covid-19 journey. So many good things have come out of this situation we have all been thrust into; whilst going on my daily exercise I have seen families out exercising together, spending time, laughing and enjoying each other’s company, communities have rallied round, helping one another in many different ways from sharing ideas, recipes, fitness tips, to helping one another do shopping and collect prescriptions. This experience is joyful and humbling at times and I am aware of all the positive things that have come out of this journey.

However, I also have times of feeling completely overwhelmed and unable to comprehend the situation. I find it difficult to get my head around it and understand what we are all going through, and the enormity of this evil virus. This feeling can stop me making the most of the unexpected gift of time we have been given, my brain becomes foggy and it’s difficult to think clearly and be productive. This is partly due to my dad being in hospital with the virus, he became unwell at home and deteriorated over a week.

He was taken to hospital in an ambulance one Friday night and was in ICU on a ventilator for two days. This was one of the most frightening times we have had to go through as a family. Knowing how deadly this virus can be we were very worried. Since he went into hospital, we have experienced a real rollercoaster: progress one day, to further complications discovered the next. It has been turbulent, but he is making progress and is on the road to a full recovery. It’s tough being stuck at home and feeling helpless.

My dad has just turned 70, his birthday plans cancelled due to the lockdown. He is a fit guy, he cycles, and we had made plans to do a few big rides together for the first time this year, but for now these are not important; health and progress is all that matters.

To get through these tough times I have used my bike as a therapy tool, it’s keeping me sane and happy. There is nothing better than getting out, following the guidelines (no car, not far, no gnar) and just breathing in the fresh air, I am lucky to live in a place where I can access quiet roads (even quieter now) and also semi remote but easily accessible cross country style rides. I’ve used this opportunity to discover new routes close to home; what is down that wee path, or where does that lane lead me to? I’ve found some little gems along the way and and I now appreciate even more than before what I have right here on my doorstep. Being able to get outside has been my saviour, it makes everything feel slightly normal again, concentrating on the pedals going round and moving forward, whizzing through the air, really helps me to deal with the craziness of the situation, almost like it’s all being blown away.

As I suck the fresh air deep into my lungs however, the thought of my dad in the hospital still relying on the occasional oxygen ‘top up’ is never far from my mind. It almost makes me break down in tears, and makes me feel quite angry, why him, why us? I almost feel guilty too, I am breathing so deeply and he (and many others) are struggling to take a breath, it just doesn’t seem fair. But I know my dad would want me to keep going and keep pushing and this spurs me on to get stronger - physically and mentally - to support him. I share stories and pictures of my rides with him over social media and video calls and perhaps he’ll be experiencing a touch of jealously!? I hope this might aid the healing process, make him even more determined to heal quickly to get back out there with me!

Getting out on the bike is my escapism, my normal, but this can only be done once a day and not for the long periods I would usually enjoy, so we have had to adapt to having more time at home. What to do with all this time, with nowhere to go and two kids (Angus 10, Annabel 7) to entertain? We have embarked on our own path of learning and adventure within our little space; I built some simple wooden mountain bike features from a disused wooden gate and created an obstacle course round the garden, which has kept the kids (and the big kids too) entertained for hours! Being a teacher of Design and Technology I am used to working with my hands and crafting things, so these were not new skills for me, but you can never underestimate the sense of achievement when using something you have built yourself, that intrinsic reward can be addictive…soon I’ll have no garden fence left!

We are now in the second week of the school Easter holidays and I had planned a solo multi day bikepacking trip which was meant to have been my first big solo adventure. I had planned a route (the bottom loop of the HT550), got all the kit and was really looking forward to it. I was of course really disappointed that this trip cannot go ahead at this time, so in a bid to still experience a little bit of adventure, and also to make the holidays feel like such for Angus and Annabel we had our own wee micro adventure in the garden. I set up my tarp, we went out on a short bike ride together, set up a fire, toasted marshmallows and then spent the night sleeping outside.

Waking to the sound of the birds chirping was liberating, I felt free, removed from the lockdown and constraints of the situation we are in, and to be honest it felt like I could have been anywhere, it just so happened to be my back garden. Although very far removed from the adventure I had planned, it was still fun and brought excitement and joy to my kids. In the morning, with sleepy eyes and wild hair ‘we did it mummy’ Annabel said, it was a precious moment. All three of us felt like we have achieved something, and the most beautiful thing is I got to experience that with my kids, who would not have been present if I had gone on the adventure I had planned.

This time is not normal, I’m not even sure what normal is, or what normal will be in the future. When we will be able to disembark from this rollercoaster ride no one knows. But what you can do in the meantime is enjoy the time we have been given, set yourself a challenge, try something new, create something with your hands. Appreciate what you do have and engage with something that makes things feel less crazy. For me this is biking; for others this may be reading a book, baking a cake, or spending time in the garden. Let’s hope all the good things that have come out of this turbulent journey can continue to flourish and that people are more aware of what is most important to them in this overwhelming world we live in.

Stay safe. Stay home… unless you’re riding your bike!

Caroline McKaig

Caroline is a mum of two, a secondary school teacher of Design and Technology and volunteers her time to run a girls bike club. She lives in the beautiful Scottish borders with her family and loves to ride her bike, exploring the variety of trails, roads and paths in her local area. She also likes to venture further afield to experience new places, and has recently caught the bug for bikepacking.